Last year I set up a ministry called Kat Mills Ministries. Although I have mentioned a little bit about this in some of my previous blogs, today I wanted to explain a bit more behind this and share one of the latest ‘ventures’.
I grew up in a very musical family. With my dad being a classical conductor and mum being an oboist, I spent many days in concert halls. We usually got to the concert hall way before anyone else and I would walk onto the stage and sing at the top of my voice enjoying the acoustics and dreaming of what it would be like to be the star. I would hang out in my dad’s dressing room and pretend it was mine. As I sang more and dreamed of performing I noticed how insecure and jealous I became and the more I tried to prove my worth. Even if people said I sang well, or was very talented, as soon as the words had faded, I questioned them and needed more praise and affirmation. I could only believe I was any good if other people said I was. When other people came along who could sing and act, immediately I felt threatened.
As a teenager I wanted to be part of the youth worship team as a singer. I was told by the worship leader that I wasn’t allowed to as I would get a big head. As a concession, I was allowed to play my cello, but that was it. This crushed me in many ways and I felt confused and discouraged. However I am grateful for this as I believe that everything intended to harm us can be turned around by God and used for His good. Through playing my cello I learnt to serve wholeheartedly and to worship God with all I had, even if it wasn’t through the gift of singing that I so desperate to use. I learnt a lot about what it was just to worship, to serve others, and to listen: God had started me on a journey.
Over the years I have begun to realise the importance of finding my identity in Christ and understand that I am not a “human doing” but a “human being”. As this revelation sunk in, I also realised that God had made me unique. Recently I attend a seminar led by worship leader Arron Keyes who said “there will never be anyone else like you, with your exact personality, character, likes, situation and location etc.” This was an enormously freeing statement that God has a specific calling for each one of us that no-one else can fulfill. I started to understand that I no longer need to be jealous of others. I am learning to listen and seek His will for my life. The more I have embraced who He is and who He has made me to be the, the more freedom I have and the more joyful I become. I don’t have to pretend to be something I am not and I don’t have to be somebody else.
All of this gave me the ability to stop seeing others as threats but to rejoice in other peoples gifting. We were made to work together in relationship. Being at peace in myself and who I was in Christ allowed me to put this into action has released in me the ability to find ways to encourage people, help them grow in their faith, develop their gifting, find their calling, and to know the love and joy of the Lord. I know what it was like to be discouraged and put down, so I desperately want to help build up.
Through writing and singing my own songs I know have the means to set up Kat Mills Ministry with my husband, to sow into others who are passionate to see the kingdom of God grow. We use this ministry to help fund Christian artists record their music, give people experience in the studio, and attend worship training courses.
Back in June I took a young lady, who I consider as my God-sister, called Millie into Crown Lane Studios. The idea was to give her some time in the studio, to see how it all works, and take one of her songs – record and produce it. We worked together to develop the song – developing chords, looking at the dynamics of the song, and choose the direction of the production. Please check out the finished song, Hold me close.
I am incredibly proud of Millie, she writes, as I do, to work through life situations, and share her faith in God. Her faith shines out of her even through the tough times.
I want to remind you today that God made you unique, special and with purpose. Don’t be threatened by others, but know that he loves you and has incredible plans for your life.