Category Archives: Trusting in God

God’s perfect timing

So last Friday I got to hear the songs for my new album develop further as John and Phil Merriman did brilliant jobs laying down the drums and bass tracks.  It is great to see the songs start to take shape. I must say I always feel lazy at these sessions as I am seeing other people work very hard on my album and I am just there to listen and to make musical decisions.  However, it won’t be too long before it’s my turn to pull some long days.

I don’t about you but waiting has not always been my strong point, consequently it’s no shock that God has been teaching me about and challenging me over the last couple of years.  Have you ever had that moment where you decided in your head that you are ready for something, and then when God seems to say “no” or “not yet”, you feel He is being unfair?  I am learning that if God says “not yet”, it’s because He still has things for me to learn before I can get to that point.  Sometimes I have questioned why God hasn’t opened doors that I believe He has told me He will open, and I felt Him whisper to my heart – because the time isn’t right.  I have to trust that when God promises something, He will fulfil it, but it will be in his time and in his way.

Learning how to wait on God’s timing has been a challenge for me.  Despite this, it has been one of the most incredible things that I have started to learn. When things happen in God’s timing they go far and beyond how it would have happened in our timing.  I look back at wanting to record and sing, but for years it didn’t seem to happen. Looking back, I can see that it wasn’t the right time and I wasn’t in the right place. Not only have I been able to write and share testimony about the really difficult and challenging times that I have been through, but God has been bringing the right people into my life at the right time and preparing me for what tasks He has for me to do.

Recently I looked at my diary and didn’t see much in there after April for my music. I started to panic and question God.  An easy reaction would have been to start doing some more work to generate bookings, but I really felt strongly that God said to me to wait and that He would bring the right events at the right time.  So I waited.

God has opened doors in such amazing ways and these have led to more doors being opened.  When I trust and leave things with God, He truly makes my paths straight.  God’s plans are so much better than my plans.  I realised that one of the reasons that there had been space between bookings was that God knew I had so much on with other commitments, concerts, worship events and recording an album, that having too much to think about at once would have overwhelmed me.  This experience has helped me understand that living a life walking by faith and trusting in God’s timing is scary!

It has helped me to start to live my life with an incredible joy, I am loving where I am, what I am doing and most importantly who I am in Him.  There has been an incredible freedom, when I have laid down my own agenda, my own timing and own plans and given Him control.

I really encourage you to wait on God for His timing, for He has plans to prosper and not harm you.

I pray that you have a blessed week,

Many blessings,

Kat

So I am delighted to say that my debut album ‘Out of the Ashes’ is complete, and has just been sent off to the CD printers. It really has been an incredible team effort and I am praying that God will use the album to bless many people and be encouraged in their walk with Him.

Facebook-20150423-100242

So now the focus is on the release and the launch gigs. There are two! Firstly at TazZa Coffee Shop in Sutton on 15th May and then at Purley Baptist Church on 23rd. Please check out my events page for more information. If you would be interested in having me come to your Church or local venue to run an event please do check out my bookings page and contact me, I would love to hear from you.

In the run up to the album release I am going to share the lyrics and stories behind the songs.  I truly feel that having the story behind the song really enhances listening to it.  I pray these words encourage and bless you.  Check out the lyrics on the lyrics page.

So the first song that I am sharing with you is a very personal song to me.  This song is called ‘Just as you are’.  I battled with ME/CFS for 5 years which God healed me from in 2012.  For those unsure of how this illness affects you, in a nut shell you suffer from severe fatigue/exhaustion and quite often pain.  There are different levels of the illness.  There were days when I was okay and could do more, but then I would pay for it for the next few weeks and usually be able to do very little. On really bad days even walking down the stairs to sit on the sofa was exhausting – I quite often spent all day in my pjs because I did not have the energy to change.  Looking after my appearance was just too exhausting – and I quite often had to rely on the kindness of a relative or a friend to even wash and dry my hair!

One of the difficulties with this illness is that it is invisible. Apart from looking tired or a bit unwell you can come across as totally normal. I feel that this is one of the reasons why this illness is so misunderstood by many.  There were so many times that people muttered ‘well I’m tired, too’, or ‘you look perfectly fine to me’.  The demoralising thing was you could wake up after a night’s sleep and be as exhausted as when you had gone to bed.  There is something rewarding about being tired when you have worked hard all day and achieved a lot.  But when you have the exhaustion all day every day and you haven’t been able to do much at all it can really get you down.  I quite often struggled with feeling low and useless. As a Christian, I felt I wasn’t being able to ‘live for God’ and felt pretty miserable on my own at home day after day.  Through this time I felt God starting to challenge me in what was I finding my worth in. Was it deeds? Or was it Him? What was I trying to prove? Although I knew that I was saved through the grace of Christ alone I was desperately striving to prove my worth and who I was.

Through this period I felt God start to break down those things and to speak to my heart. He told me hat I was precious, and loved, and dear to Him even though I was lying weak at home, no matter that I couldn’t do anything for Him. I had to start to trust completely in Him and to start to find my identity in Him. This song encompasses my journey of trying to prove myself and then the comfort of the words from my Heavenly Father – “Child, I love you”.  I pray that these lyrics and this song would encourage you and bless you. I ask that if you know someone struggling with a long term illness that you would pass on these words.

Whatever your journey, wherever you are remember you are loved, chosen, and precious to God!  In some seasons you may be very fruitful in others it can feel like you are just hanging on by your fingertips.  Whatever season you are in I pray that you would take time to hear God’s words of love in your life.

God bless,

Kat

Journey on!

So, on Tuesday I went into Crown Lane studios for the final mixing session.  To be honest I found it quite emotional, seeing how far the songs had come and hearing the (almost) finished version.  But it was also pretty nerve-wracking as it hit home that it meant that it was not long till the album is off to be pressed and then released. It can be easy to be overcome with doubts or worries, but I have been so blessed at how God has led us in this project and am trusting him in this next step.

I know I have said it before but it has truly been a blessing working at Crown Lane studios with John Merriman and Bill Sherrington, and as I told them as I left (much to their horror) that I will be back!  I am already planning my next project which is a single called ‘Hushabye’ – a project very close to my heart which I will share about in the near future.

I remember very clearly over five years ago when I was at uni and writing lots of songs that I was so desperate to record and to encourage people through music, but the timing was just not right. I was struggling with illness and was still desperately trying to prove myself…to be honest it wasn’t a great time.  I remember at this time a lovely friend and mentor Angie praying with me, and one of the things she shared with me was she felt that at the right time I would meet several people who would help me capture the songs and music in a way that would encourage and bless people.  But to not worry or rush God’s timing.  I can see that in fruition now by the way that so many talented musicians and sound engineers have captured the vision for this album, and help me make it a reality.

Sometimes things can be a long time in the making, but we can learn and grow so much through the journey if we just let God work in and through us.  I feel that God has been doing so much work on my heart, and in me finding my identity, joy and peace in him.  So now that the right time has I come, I feel ready and supported to step out – excited to see where God will lead us, and confident that he is ‘my rock and salvation’ (Psalm 62)

There will be times that you will face discouragement and disappointment, which threaten to rob you of joy and motivation in what you do.  I encourage you not to give up and to keep persevering and standing firm in his promise of ‘a hope and a future’ (Jeremiah 29:11).  I pray that as you walk forward with God that you would stand firm, knowing that he is our strength when we are weak, our joy when we despair, and our peace when everything around us is chaotic.

Have a fantastic rest of the week,

God bless you,
Kat

A Leap of faith

Kat Recording

So on Monday I went into the studio to record my lead vocals.  I had been really looking forward to this part of the recording – as I had been itching to get those headphones on and to sing into the rather beautiful microphone that Crown Lane Studio have!  However in the week running up to it I started struggling with swollen glands, fuzzy ears, painful chest – you get the picture. I started to panic knowing that I had the lead vocals to do but knowing that I was physically limited.  You know what it’s like when you have a cold/virus – it can wipe out your voice for a good few weeks.

But then I remembered the verse in Philippians 4:13 that says, ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’. A friend also sent me a message saying not to worry, but to remember who I was doing this for. Then it hit me… it didn’t matter that I was weak and struggling, as I didn’t have to do it in my strength but in His. God had this under control and that I just had to trust him completely.

Now I will be totally honest, this has been a big lesson for me in totally trusting Jesus/God for something.  How easy is it to say we trust in him when everything is going well, when we are healthy, when we have enough and we can seem to get through the days in our own strength.  But how hard is it to trust when we can’t see the outcome, when we are in desperate need and can’t do it in our own strength.  There can be that fear of the unknown, of taking that leap of faith.  When my voice is strong and healthy and I can practice lots it’s easy to feel like I am trusting in what God is doing.  But this week really challenged me.  As the recording got nearer and I didn’t seem to be improving and it was easy to give way to panic.  However, I kept hearing His still small voice telling me to trust him.  So on Monday I walked into the recording studio knowing that I was physically weak and that the only way I could sing the way I needed to was through the strength and blessing of God.  It was a real blessing to have my wonderful friend Sarah there who prayed for and encouraged me throughout the day. Before each song I just asked that God would give me strength to sing and bring praises to his name.  It was a really humbling experience because God gave me the strength to do every vocal with the full strength and full range.  I knew that I was doing this in his strength alone.  I had taken that leap of faith and jumped straight into his open arms.

Through this whole process I have felt my levels of trusting in God have been pushed and stretched and that He is teaching me not to rely on and trust in my strength, but in His and His alone.

It seems to be a continuous journey! On Saturday I have the ‘Evening with Kat Mills’ and right now I am lying on the sofa dosed up on paracetamol and feeling pretty hideous. But I know and will stand on the truth that In God’s strength I can do all things.

I want to encourage you… yes, completely trusting in God and for God’s provision can be scary and really hard, but is totally worth it. How amazing is it that we don’t have to do any of this alone, or in our own strength but that we have a God who loves us so much that he sent His Son to die and rise again for us.  We have a God who cares, who is strong and who says to us ‘Come to Me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.”, and  “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls’

So take that leap of faith, totally trusting in him and jump into his open arms,

God bless,
Kat